How to give it, and how to take it.
I am a little dismayed over the political climate in this country at the present time. I believed once the election was over, that the name-calling and innuendos would be over also. That the House and the Senate would work together for the people whom they represent. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It is very easy to look at everything with a magnifying glass and be overly critical. There is a time and a place for healthy criticism, but too often we find fault simply because they belong to an opposing party. My mother was one for always spouting clichés, and the one that would fit here would probably be: two wrongs never make a right.
Whether you are on the giving end of the criticism, or on the receiving end, retaliation is never the answer. There are times when criticism is necessary, and God’s word tells us the right way to deliver this type of comment. It is never done with maliciousness, or anger, or hatred in your heart. When the criticism you receive is untrue and cruel, the Bible tells us to turn the other cheek, because if you are a Christian, you are a representative of Jesus Christ. That should give you pause when it comes to reacting to criticism in a negative way. It should also make you cognizant of what comments you make, and how it will come across to others. The best way to handle most altercations is found in the simple verse below. Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. I know what you’re thinking, easier said than done, and that is a very true statement, and understandably so, for we are carnal men and getting even is always the tempting way to do things.
Proverbs 15:1 tells us: A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. What are we teaching our children when we are screaming back at the television, or having a heated discussion about a political statement made by another person that you don’t agree with? I don’t think it’s a soft answer that they are witnessing. A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Proverbs 29:11. Sometimes we are tempted to speak our mind because it’s our right, but would we be better off keeping silent, because when you really stop and think about it, what are you trying to prove and to whom? If your comments and criticisms do not make yourself or someone else better, they are better left unsaid.
As parents one of my mantras have been, teach by example, and often times we are doing just that without realizing it. Our children listen to what we say and how we say it, and will emulate us in these areas. Another one of my mother’s clichés was: if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. It was then, and is now sage advice, and something we all should remember, and practice.
We as authors are the targets of literary criticisms. Because of this we know how much criticisms can hurt, regardless of how true it may be. If we take the criticism to heart, and use it as a tool to improve ourselves, rather than retaliate, we will be better because of it. Something to think about.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
Proverbs 12:15
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.
Proverbs 25:11-12
Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
James 4:11
The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.
He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
Proverbs 15:31
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Matthew 18:15