Well, I will never darken that door again!
I have witnessed people who I will have to call church jumpers. People who stay at the church and serve well until they become offended, at someone or something said, then they jump to another church, leaving in a huff. This kind of behavior always bothered me, because I wonder if there’s something I could’ve done, or should have done to have averted this. One thing I have to ask myself, is whose voice are they listening to? The Bible tell us: But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. I Peter 3:14-17
Sometimes God uses other people to correct us and make us stronger. When we fight that correction it should set off alarms, and before we react we should pray and seek guidance from God. Too often people fly off the handle and stomp off in a huff, making it hard for them to maintain their dignity if they should return. We should always remember that God only corrects those he loves, and not try to kill the messenger. Do you know there is no benefit to anger, so it should be avoided as much as possible? There are times when it is obvious that people have a chip on their shoulder, and they’re looking for someone to knock it off. They want someone to blame for their misfortunes in life, and how unfair the world has been to them, and all too often they use the church as that target. A good excuse not to serve God, so if someone has offended you, or done something you didn’t like, you’re going to pick up your marbles, and leave, never to darken their door again.
Jesus suffered some of the worst ridiculing, and heckling, of his ministry, in his home town. It was a way for them to ease their conscience of how they may or may not have treated him as a child being raised in the community. After all, who wants to admit that they shunned the Saviour of the world? Sometimes it is our lack of self-confidence that leads us to perceive whispers and innuendos that do not exist. Instead of voicing our concerns, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings, we bury them deep inside and let them fester like a boil until they are ready to burst. And that’s when we make our grand exit proving to the world that we don’t need them, also proving we do not have the heart of God in us, or that behavior would not happen. There is always a way to work things out; And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
We have all said and done things that have been misconstrued from their true intent. If people would just take the time to talk it out, they would find that their hurt feelings are ungrounded, misunderstood, and the person may be truly sorry, but a simple solution can most always be found. After all, we are all working for the same cause, to further the kingdom of Jesus Christ, by teaching and preaching the gospel. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is take ourselves out of the equation and make sure Jesus is the center of everything we do.
As parents it is important that we teach our children to choose wisely the words they use, and treat other people the way they want to be treated. It’s human nature to say things in haste to cover up embarrassment or hurt feelings, we need to teach them during those times to find the grace to forgive or to ask forgiveness. One of the mantras in our household is; two wrongs never make a right. Jesus told his disciples to turn the other cheek, (or forgive) 70×7, in other words, always. It is a very hard lesson to teach young children and the best way to teach is by example.
We as authors, often express our old hurt feelings through our writings, making villains out of thin air because we needed someone to blame for our misfortunes or lack of self-confidence. It’s one thing to do that in a work of fiction, it is another thing to do that in real life. I have always told my children; friends may come and go but enemies are forever. Before the door hit your backside make sure your exit is warranted.
The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
Proverbs 19:11
And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.
Luke 7:23, Matthew 11:6
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
James 1:19
Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake.
Luke 6:22
If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
John 15:18
And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness;
And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word’s sake, immediately they are offended.
Mark 4:16-17
A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Proverbs 18:19