What does that really mean?
When was the last time you went to an older person for advice? What kind of advice was it, financial, health related, or childcare? Why didn’t you simply pick up a book and read about the subject in question? I think it boils down to a matter of trust in people’s opinion, (as in a book) or practical knowledge of what really works. When you can see people whose life reflects their wisdom, common sense, and practical knowledge, you tend to respect their experience and advice. Many elderly people have already forgotten more than most of us will ever know, and with their passing a great amount of practical knowledge will be lost forever from the world.
I was in the grocery store the other day and was saddened by an exchange between a mother and daughter. The daughter was in her late 50s, and the mother was probably in her late 70s. The mother was frail and seemed to be struggling with counting out the money the patient checkout clerk was waiting for. The daughter was annoyed at the time it was taking her and grabbed the money out of her hand to complete the transaction. I’m sure the daughter was concerned about people waiting in line behind them, which she seemed to think justified her gruff behavior toward her mother. I wish I could say this is an isolated incident, and one I have never seen before but alas it is not. I am afraid that this is something I see quite frequently in many venues. I suppose the upside to this was the daughter still had a relationship with her mother, and the mother with her daughter.
In 2014 China passed a law that required children not only to take care of their parents needs but to visit them on a regular basis. It was enacted because of the rise of abusive care for the elderly in China. I am unsure of how well the new law is working out, or because the great volume of population, how it is even being enforced, but you have to admire them for stepping up to the plate and making sure the elderly are taking care of. 30 states in this country have the filial laws in place, making the children financially responsible for their elderly parents. Currently these thirty states are: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, and West Virginia. Because of our Social Security system elder care can usually be found for aging parents, but in cases of neglect the filial law can be enacted.
I know we live in a fast-paced world, and most homes have two working parents. I am unsure how most of you were raised, but a large percentage of you were probably raised by a mother who had you hold her finger while you were learning how to walk, and gently picked you up when you fell. Who helped you get dressed every morning, and would feed you and then wash your face when you were finished. Part of respecting your elders, or parents if you will, is expecting the roles to reverse as the parents get older. Your father may have given you rides on his shoulders, or your mother may have given you piggyback rides. Why then do we lose patience when they need to lean on us to simply walk down the street?
As parents we need to teach our children respect for their elders, as the Bible instructs us. This means that talking back to us as parents, or to our parents, should be absolutely unacceptable behavior. This kind of respect starts in the home, and if we cannot speak to our parents in a manner which is becoming to us and to them, how can we expect our children to do the same? Read the Word with your children on a daily basis, and help them grow into responsible loving adults. The last thing Jesus did while hanging on the cross dying was making sure his mother would be taken care the rest of her life. Remember your children are the ones who will be choosing your nursing home, or elder care.
We as authors, rarely touch the subject of elder care in our works. It is an uncomfortable subject and has many complications and demands on families. The key to this problem is to somehow plan for the future, and knowing ahead of time what you would be willing to do, should the need arise, to take care of an elderly parent. Remember, respect comes in many forms, and elder care is one of them.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Exodus 20:12
Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.
Leviticus 19:32
The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.
Proverbs 16:31
The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head.
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
I Peter 5:5
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
I Timothy 5:8
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
Ephesians 6:2