What kind of friend are you?
Friendship is a privilege, and to have friends you must be friendly. We choose our friends based on common interest and experiences, common values, and equality. We do not put ourselves above other people, or put other people above us, for all God’s people were created equally. The Bible has a lot to say about friendship and perhaps it’s because God knows how to be one, and how important it is to have one. In the Bible it defines a friend as someone who edifies, who always offers grace, someone who is loving, loyal, helpful, sympathetic, and authentic.
A true friend has your back. Someone who is a true friend stands up for you. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They push you to accept yourself, but still encourage us to become better, they tell us when we’re wrong, and support us during adversity and joy. A true friend is a stress reliever, not a stress intensifier, they keep us humble, but not beaten-down, and are a good influence. They never ask us to compromise our beliefs for their benefit, and are committed to our happiness. They hold a piece of our heart in the protection of their friendship.
One thing that draws people together and makes some friends, is sharing something in common, or having a history. Many friendships were made during the catastrophe of 9/11, some have survived the years since then. The most important thing about being a friend is putting other people first. Sometimes it is hard when you see a friend on a self-destruct course, and cannot change the path. So what do you do? You help them pick up the pieces and put them all back together again, just like Humpty Dumpty, everyone told him not to sit on the wall but he just wouldn’t listen. I like to think of all the king’s men as the government and false friends, who said they can’t put Humpty back together again, but a true friend will take the time to glue every piece back together until it really sticks. Your friends need to know that you are not a friend from 9 to 5, but you are a friend 24/7. Be there when they’re lonely, be there when they’re busy, be there when they’re happy, share the joys of life! A friend can be absent from your life because of logistics, time restrictions etc., but can step right back in and pick right back up as if the time never ticked by one second.
Tragedy is no respecter of age or circumstance, and if you know someone who has been through it because of health, wealth or a loved one, don’t be just a sympathetic friend, be there after the tragedy is over and bring joy into their life with your friendship. Consistency is a vital part of life, both in friendship and in love. This song from “Toy Story” resonates this truth.
Written by: RANDY NEWMAN
Lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me
Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got troubles, and I’ve got ’em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and can see it through
‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too, maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do, it’s me and you, boy
And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see it’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
As parents we need to teach our children what it means to be a true friend. To put other people’s interest in their own, which will in turn bring them happiness. Teach them that Jesus taught us not only how to love, but how to be a true friend. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 If your child wants to have friends they must first learn how to be a friend. Teach them by your example!
We as authors, often develop a story around friendship. Sometimes that friendship is a metamorphosis from a shared experience, or tragedy. How many times in our writings do we mirror many parts of our own friendship experiences? Can we profess to be what is called a true friend? If not, why, and are we willing to change?
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Proverbs 13:20
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.
Proverbs 27:9
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
I Thessalonians 5:11
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:12-13
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Ecclesiastics 4:9-10